This is almost over. And I have an unshakeable case of The Sads.
Those are my only two things that I can even think to tell you. The only two things that I could possibly report. The latter of the things, I’m not really ready to talk about yet, because I would have to tell you about the granddaddy of breakdowns I had the other night. And right now, what I have is to do is compartmentalize my brain and cram mnemonics and lists into every available space in the next three days. There are no brain cells currently available to devote to feelings. As my Auntie told me last week, there’s plenty of time in your life to deal with crap, and this isn’t one of them.
So, I will say that this is almost over. There are four-ish days left of studying, and for the time being, things are stable. I am exhausted. This test has been nothing but a sandbag on my soul, and I am ready to see it over. But, when it’s over, everything is going to change, and I am a little scared. And definitely sad.
All of that is to say that two weeks ago, after a long day of watching boring MBE review videos with Kimmie and having a few laughs with her, this song came on the radio in the car on my way home and I cried. And I get that nothing about this post is really making any sense, I don’t think, but I am going to post it anyway and go study. There is nowhere to go but forward. And it won’t be like this for long.
3 years ago
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